It’s hard to be human sometimes! It is really hard to sift through our emotions and challenges that arise throughout our days, especially those moments that erupt out of nowhere. I felt like I had failed so many times because of these explosions. However, I have changed my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t crave these days. But we do need them. They make us stronger, uncomfortable, and better leaders because we learn to listen. We must listen first, always. I used to jump right into defensive mode and try to solve everything. That was how I determined my level of leadership- whether or not I solved the problem for that person. As Sandra Herbst told us at a recent conference I attended, we can choose to respond with anger or respond with curiosity. Now, I have a whole new lens. A lens that forces my mind to shift to my goal as a leader from solving, to listening, to responding with curiosity and to asking more questions. It is a change, a slow change that has made a big difference.
Our job is exhausting but one of the most incredible professions. I can’t believe what I learn in a day. We are better leaders than we were before because we spend time with the people and listen. I am immersed and obsessed with this learning culture. Just recently, I watched a teacher grow exponentially in a week just by diving all in and trying some different approaches to support what she was doing already. I watched a leader work his magic in a difficult meeting through questioning, modeling, and getting us to do the work to take action towards solving the problem rather than just talking about it. I watched an incredible lesson between two teachers from different grades collaborating with each other to create a lesson that consisted of students modeling conferencing while a student process observer watched what processes unfolded while talking to each other. I spent the week with a teacher who was reflecting on ways to differentiate her math workshop lesson using the co-constructed criteria they had created and the conversation was so intentional. I had the beautiful opportunity to sit with two of my friends, colleagues, to learn alongside Sandra Herbst who is a master learner and system leader in assessment for learning. This all happened this week because of our calling to work in the education field. It was inspirational but it was all because the leaders constantly reflected on their intention for that day, reflections, styles of questioning, and sifting through the stormy ideas.
I also watched as teachers became frustrated and overwhelmed with the season of the year and I watched as I felt my light flicker a little with those same feelings. I used to try to push those seasons way but now I know that this is all part of it. This is what is supposed to happen in order for change and growth to occur. I am ready for it now but I am still a learner as to how to navigate through those feelings. Cognitive coaching has become a pillar in a leadership structure. Learning to ask questions in order to help teachers illuminate their own path to finding answers rather than trying to fix it for them has helped to open up the conversation. This allows an intentional reflection to shine the flashlight forwards on the learning and then back on ourselves as to the why of what we were doing. It requires us to pay attention to ourselves and to pause and think. Putting all of our ideas on the table helps us to sift through our storm of ideas and to organize our next steps and do something to move forward. Through paraphrasing, it allows us to hear or thoughts played back to us and then to pull ideas from the clouds of chaos that often happen with frustration, overwhelm, or good ideas. Through the questioning vs. the debating it manifests more of a positive lens and helps to eliminate unintentional put downs. Using reflection stems also helps with teachers and students to change the conversation.
I have studied cognitive coaching for years but the only thing that helped me to get better was to actually do it and model it with people observing to give me that immediate feedback. I did this through an actual professional development day that I was leading. I had one teacher be the person I was questioning and I had the other teachers watch and video while I modeled. I had three groups of teachers and each had a specific job. The first group had to notice the types of questions that I had. The second group had to notice when I had the teacher reflect or shine the flashlight backwards on herself where she had to go back into her purpose and work. The third group observed and dedicated themselves to figuring out my next steps. My purpose for doing this activity was for the teachers to develop their own questioning skills when working with students, for me to model rather than directly teach them from a powerpoint, and for myself to receive feedback and improve my own questioning as well as enhance our conferencing skills. It was a little messy but it was the most impactful learning that I did. My modeling also allowed the teachers to see me work through something difficult that I was struggling with which showcased my vulnerability at it’s finest. This seems to be another key to leadership, modeling and allowing ourselves to be raw and vulnerable.
Stormy ideas are the best ideas. As they mull around and create a stir, it beckons the learner to do something about those ideas. Doing something about the ideas creates questioning and conversation which can lead to something. Something can develop into a step forward in our own individual continuum of learning and life. Invite the storm, embrace it, and know that that stormy idea just might develop and blow you away someday!
Even If You Miss..... 