Today’s blog is written directly to the moms out there. Working moms, stay at home moms, home business moms, working from home moms, all of a sudden distance learning teacher moms. However, this advice could be for ANYONE! So stick with me even if you are not a mom. Heck, even the men will find some valuable advice in this article! But today, I decided to address the moms…
This mom thing is hard. It is the best job but it is also a huge struggle at the same time. All because we, mamas, out there tend to be the worst to ourselves. If only, we could see ourselves as our kids do, as heroes. This working from home, working out of home, distance learning teacher, or working as a stay at home mom is just as it states, work, and it is hard. However, if we reflect on just how blessed we are and make a plan, maybe we can turn this whole boss mama thing around.
I just finished watching On the Basis of Sex which is based on the life and early cases of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It showcases her struggles to live out her dreams to become a lawyer in the 1970s all because she was a woman. Ruth eventually went on to become a lawyer and went on to co-found the Women’s Rights Project at the ACLU. After watching this movie, I was inspired to write about boss mamas and celebrating all that they do for their families all while working. By working, I mean whether you are a stay at home mama, working from home mama, or working out of the house mama. It all matters and it is all hard work. So let’s get that clear right now!
We all want to design a life that we love. However, we so often forget about what we love and do what we need to do to get through the day. The second we do something for ourselves is the second we feel the mom guilt that we should be doing something else. Well, that my friends and fellow mamas, is called a ‘shouldy attitude’! We need to find ways to stop doing this to ourselves. We can pamper ourselves, work hard for that dream that lives in our gut, be loved by our kids and our spouse, to have a career if we want, to be a stay at home mom if we want, to rest and to spend time with our babies. We can do all of that and have all of that if we set our intentions and make a plan.
Make a plan and set an intention to relight and restore yourself. I’ve created a list to help you get started. I adapted this list from Jessie Itzler who inspires me as an entrepreneur. I twisted it and made it work for us mamas. Here are some ways to start to make a plan to relight, restore, and renew ourselves:
- Believe in the nudge that is coming from your gut. It is there for a reason. Bet on yourself. Get really clear on what that nudge is and how you can start to take action on it. That nudge could be anything. For example, it might be to become a Zumba instructor, write a book, take a class, learn to cook, change careers, etc. Write it down and get three action steps to start to take to begin getting traction on that nudge.
- Focus on overcoming any negative self talk. Talking negatively gives it power. Visualize positive action plans, speak them, and then do them.
- Handle the hard stuff with the realization that it is a season that will pass. It is just a moment in time so be relentless and focused in a constant forward motion.
- Do not negotiate your goals, whatever they may be. You deserve them and your kids deserve to see their mama happy. You will also be providing a great example for your kids so talk about your journey to them. They will learn from you and do the same for themselves some day. Your goals have to be unwavering and not dictated by other people. Don’t seek validation. They will only try to talk you out of it.
- Create your own luck. I heard this phrase from Jessie Itzler. He talks about staying in the game and sticking with it. Do the hard things and know that all things take time so do not give up.
- If you don’t know about something, learn about it. It will rejuvenate you. Share your learning and discoveries with your kids. Become the expert through talking to people, learning through digital courses, podcasts, virtual mentors, etc.
- Invest in yourself. Learning will light you up! It might be through wellness, hobbies, exercise, home or online businesses, etc. Make trial and error a part of how you do and learn things.
- Respect the process and know that all things take time. Making your beautiful babies took nine months and look how amazing they turned out. All because you did the hard work and stuck with it. The same goes for your dreams!
- Fix things that are broken as soon as you can. If it is not working, go straight to the problem and view it as solution based vs. problem based. Problems are your biggest opportunities so get in front of the problem.
- Start. Just start to work on your dream, no matter how big or small. Action by action not just step by step. It will start to happen.
- Ask for feedback and take criticism as another opportunity to learn. Starting a blog and are not having anyone read it? Stick with it, ask for feedback, pivot, and learn. Having difficulty getting your child to eat your cooking? Do these exact same things! I promise, you will learn and be better because of it!
- Do the soul work. Even if you are a mama and because you are a mama. Your kids will see you and notice the work you are doing because you are happier. Everything else will rise because of this. Soul work is when it becomes a lifestyle. It is in your soul instead of something that you have to do.
You’ve got this boss mama! I know that you are the person who is willing to do the work and put the time in because it is good for everyone, not just for you. Your babies are going to see their mama rise up and follow her dream and then they are going to do the exact same thing because they saw their hero do it.
I often talk about the important of pouring into three buckets every single day. The buckets are connection (family, colleagues, friends), mindset/wellness, and business/craft. Need help figuring out how to do this? Download my FREEBIE on how to Cultivate a Culture Using the Three Bucket System.
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