There is nothing I love more than working with people who are passionate and lit up about new learning and taking action to get things done. You know, the ones still rocking it in the classroom, contributing during professional learning, leading with love and kindness, and ready to get a little messy to figure things out if needed. The ones whose notebooks are stuffed full of great ideas, inspirational quotes plastered all over their walls, and calendars full of to do lists that are checked off one by one.
However, not everyone that you lead functions in this way. Heck, we sometimes don’t either. Not everyone is committed to the messaging or even to their own beliefs about themselves. And because I have also been a part of this type of feeling in my own head or experienced it from others, I know that feeling that pops up when you lead into the world of discomfort. You know, that dang imposter syndrome creeps in and starts pelting out questions that make you wonder if you are really up for this leadership gig. Let’s take a deep dive into how we, as leaders, can overcome that imposter syndrome and feeling of unworthiness that tends to creep into our heads.
I believe that so many leaders, including myself, are talked out of our passions and potential because of that voice in our heads that tells us we can’t.
“What do I know? Who am I to lead this community?”
“Who am I to teach this to others?”
“Who would want to hear what I have to say.”
Sound familiar? Well, if you are anything like me, this voice pops up quite often and I talk myself right out of a missed opportunity. Doubt creeps up and I end up feeling unworthy of leadership. It was happening so much that I needed to figure out a way to stiphen this voice so that I could make a plan to move forward and be happier. That is why this blog post is so important. I am going to show you exactly how to kick that imposter syndrome to the curb and start to feel worthy of your amazing self. I really believe that if you are intentional about setting up a plan to get out of that feeling of unworthiness, things will start to happen and your emotions and self worth will start to rise too.
These feelings pop up every time you try something new or get uncomfortable. It creeps up on every person at one time or another. I want to help you push through those feelings so that you can finally go to bat for yourself and achieve what you really want…not what you have talked yourself out of. You are worthy and you have everything to offer this world. In fact, the world has been waiting for you! If you don’t figure out how to develop your true voice and not the imposter syndrome, you would be robbing the world of your gifts, vitality, and ideas. There is always a seat at the table for you. Don’t ever doubt that. There is amazing power that is unlocked if you do break through that voice of self doubt and that feeling of unworthiness…And the good news….is that it is all in your control. All you have to do is flip the script.
The first way to help with the feeling of not enough is to find a community. The people in this community will be your sounding board, your inspiration, your cheerleaders, your feedback, and your coach. I am not just talking about your best friends. Although they are needed as well (for wine and fun). I am talking about finding a coach who can really help you to streamline your thinking or find clarity in your ideas to set up a clear roadmap for you. Once you have a clear idea of where you are going and what you need to implement to get there, the world opens up and it is an instant boost to your confidence. That person for me is a therapist. They are professionally trained to make sense of the jargon that comes out of my head and it has been game changing for me professionally and personally. I also have a learning coach that I tap into for leadership strategies and masterminding a plan for marketing my online business and my school community. Another person in your community might be like-minded people from around the world who are looking to solve the same problems or follow the same passions that you are. This can be an online or face to face community. The second you are doubting yourself, talk to them. They are walking the same pathway and can give you some guidance, inspiration or feedback. So for me, I have an online principal support community called Principals and Leadership that is a free facebook community that I created. I also have a community that came together from my digital course called School Administrator’s Academy. We bond, we mastermind, we dump our feelings, we pick ourselves back up, and we talk that imposter voice right out of our heads. Any time that you can surround yourself with like-minded people who have a growth mindset, do it. It is an instant boost. But be careful that your table isn’t serving negativity and are problem seekers vs. solution seekers. If they are, then perhaps it is time to change tables.
The next thing I want you to think about when it comes to battling that feeling of worth is to lean on the thinking that there is always someone in the room that is listening to you and wants to hear your ideas. They want to know what you know and learn from you. They just might be quietly watching, observing, and listening. You are not alone, even if you feel like you are sometimes. That is simply not the case. A few years ago, I was leading a professional development for leaders and it was my third masterclass where only a few showed up. That imposter voice was raging in my head and I was about to give up until a leader came up to me after that third class and said how much I impacted her thinking and how much she wanted to learn more from me. Hearing that reminded me that I am put here to lead and there is always someone who will be waiting to learn from my ideas. Don’t give up, there is always someone listening.
Now let’s talk about when that feeling of unworthiness comes back. Because it never goes away…it will always flare up again. That is where I realized that I had to dig deeper and lean into the voice to prove it wrong. However, it wasn’t until I realized that I was striving for perfection that I realized I was my own worst enemy. What does perfect look like anyway? Someone once told me that perfection always leads to comparison and there are one of two ways that you can feel when you are comparing – superior or inferior. Neither of those feelings ever real feel ok. Therefore, I needed to focus on progression over perfection. I decided that whenever that voice reared it’s ugly head, I would focus on the next step I needed to progress instead of perfect. I set up an action plan and I implemented the next step instead of shying away because of that voice telling me I couldn’t. Action puts things into motion and when you are moving and progressing you instantly gain confidence and feel better...which suppresses that damn voice.
Here is the truth. That feeling of unworthiness is never going to go away so we have to figure out a plan so that you can quiet it and keep moving forward. And guess what…everyone has this voice and no one has figured out how to quiet it for good. Another thing I think about that helps is that realization that everyone is a human, is normal and has the imposter voice bouncing around in their heads. Even the movie stars or big time faces of education! They all put their clothes on the same way and they all have to pick up their dog’s poop with a baggie (if they own one). For some reason, we place this pressure on ourselves that we have to be super human. The truth is we are all normal and super at the same time. I listened to Amy Porterfield’s podcast the other day and she had a guest named Rob on who talked about how he thought of himself as an entrepreneur and what he said really hit home with me. He said, “I’m just a guy with a proven roadmap to results others seem to desire for themselves and who believes in sharing what I know with the world.” Find your roadmap and share it with the world in spite of what that voice tells you.
And this leads me to my last tip for you. You have a roadmap. Find it, get clear on it and use it and that will help you in all that you do. Focus on less and go deeper with more. If you have an idea that gets you traction, that is where you put your A+ effort. Everything else gets a B+ effort… and that is still a pass, my friends. Try not to get distracted by what is in the other lane. Keep your head down, blinders on, and focus on your own roadmap. Create whenever you can and it will help you to free your mind and ease that pressure of the imposter voice telling you that you can’t.
So there you have it, a plan to combat the feeling of unworthiness. To recap:
- we talked about finding your community of like-minded people
- lean into the thinking that there is someone who always wants to hear what you have to say and learn from you
- think progression over perfection
- develop a plan of action and roadmap to implement
- Remember, action gets you traction and momentum and gets you further away from that voice that is trying to block you
- Lastly, consume less and create more.
If you are looking for a community, we are waiting for you over at my new course School Administrator’s Academy or in my free facebook group called Principals and Leadership!
Porterfield, Amy. “How to Overcome The Feeling of Unworthiness and Entrepreneurial Freedom.” Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast, 2 Sept. 2021, http://www.amyporterfield.com/2021/09/394/.
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