An object lesson is something that serves as a practical example of a principle or abstract idea. It serves as a reminder that when you see that specific item, it becomes attached to the lesson or idea immediately. I actually forgot about the power of object lessons until I heard Gerry Brooks, a master principal, speak at a recent Teacher’s Convention. As I listened to him speak, there were so many objects he brought forward that made total sense and struck a chord within my own leadership. His talk was all about how to build culture and relationships in schools, especially among teachers. I thought that I would bring forward a few of the lessons he taught us in this keynote. Perhaps it might hit home for you too.
I want to start with Gerry’s reminder that “whether you are a coach, principal, librarian, bus driver, teacher, etc., you have chosen a job that has the power to give someone dignity. Continue to remind yourself of that power and use it wisely and gently. The goal of this blog post in this week is three things:
- For you to read something you needed to hear
- For something that you might need to talk about with your leadership team to hone your relationship building skills to build culture
- To leave with an understanding that the most important thing, is that you have a chance to change something or someone into something amazing. You have the ability to change someone’s life by giving them their dignity, every single day. (Brooks, 2022).
So now that we have the ground rules down pat and a clear intention of what to look for when you are reading these object lessons, let’s get started.
- Jelly Belly Candy – You are dealing with people who aren’t like you. The thing is no one is like you and yet sometimes we expect people to have the same passions and dreams as us and when they don’t….well, it can go south real fast. When I think of Jelly Bellys, I think of the teachers. The jelly belly candies are always a surprise flavor and some you love, and some not so much. Like Jelly Belly candy, you never quite know which personality you are going to get, but what you do find out very quickly is that they are all different from you. And that is necessary to understand. You can’t change the personalities but you can change you. It is so important to accept the personalities in your building. After all, we expect our kids to all get along right? So….we should also expect this of ourselves. The best way to do this is to focus on their positives. An example of this that Gerry presented, was that he had a gym teacher who was passionate about eating healthy. So much so, she was scaring kids into eating healthy by telling them horror stories of the diseases they might get if they didn’t start eating healthy. Instead of ordering her to stop, Gerry dug deeper into the why and found out that the teacher’s mom had forced her into eating healthy and had also told her horror stories so she didn’t think there was anything wrong with the way she was handling the situation with her students. It wasn’t until Gerry presented the parent’s perspective and listened to her own that she realized perhaps there was a better way to teach them about healthy habits.
2. Glasses – I am talking about the glasses we wear on our faces. There are all kinds of glasses with all types of prescriptions. When I think of glasses, I think of perspectives. Some glasses are easier to see from and other glasses that you put on are too strong of a prescription, or not strong enough. This object is to remind you that there are always different perspectives and that you will never be a s good as you can be until you look through other people’s lenses. A great example of this is Covid. So many perspectives right?! Another example is a teacher who is always late letting her kids out at the dismissal bell. Her perspective was that she wanted to eek out every last minute of learning each day. She was passionate about teaching and always used her time to the fullest with her kids. The bus driver was getting more and more frustrated because his lens was that he was always waiting for the kids and it made the entire route late almost every day. In order to deal with this, you have to explore both perspectives and then present them and usually it works out better than just stating orders with your own bias. Once the teacher was presented with the bus driver’s perspective, she immediately made changes.
3. Light Switch – This represents stopping one thing before moving to another. It is so important as leaders that we teach teachers to turn off their minds when we walk out the door. It is important that we are able to do this for ourselves as well. If we don’t do this we are mentally and physically draining ourselves. An example of how powerful this object can be, is one teacher has a switch in her classroom and when the kids come through the door, she simply flicks the switch and says, “it is time to turn off your recess brains, and turn on your math brains.” This is a clear reminder of where to focus your mind. A neat idea that Gerry gave us was that his school holds a light switch decorating contest. Kids decorate light switches and then eventually the light switches go on teacher’s desks to remind them to turn their brains on and off. He even has announcements where he reminds teachers to turn off your professional minds for the weekend as you leave the school. Now this is going to mean that you and the teachers are going to have to get a little more organized and intentional with your time. Learn and teach them how to organize their time into blocks or boxes throughout the day and to stick to them so you all can have your life back. Now I know that there are times where you have to work on the weekends but it never has to be all weekend long….if you are organized and learn how to switch things on and off. Pick a time on the same time every weekend and work if you have to work, but then when that time is up, shut it off. This lesson is so important because…let’s be honest…if you don’t learn how to manage your time and learn to shut things on and off, you will leave your job because you are burnt out or be a mediocre leader that doesn’t fulfill you.
4. Pacifier – yep you heard that right…a baby soother! Not because you want them to suck it up or you don’t want any whiners or cryers in the building either…..that is not what this object lesson is. That won’t go over well at all! This object is to remind us that we are always dealing with someone’s baby. When you remember that, things change and become more clear. Just think about it, whenever you have a parent meeting about their child, the first question that comes to their mind or your mind if you are the parent is, “what did I do wrong?”. And then the next question…”What did you do wrong?” They are doing this because they are desperate to figure out what happened with their kid and sometimes we may all go about it the wrong way. But if you remember this is their baby and they are simply doing the best that they can, then perhaps we can approach it from less of a defensive or offensive way and more from a compassionate tone. Remember that with teachers too. When you are keeping them for an hour staff meeting, think….is there a way that I can make it 30 minutes instead so they can get home to their own babies. That will go a long way to build climate and culture!
5. M and Ms – This object makes you want to reflect on how well you know your teachers. There are so many types of flavors that you can choose when you are deciding on M and Ms. Not everyone likes the peanut flavor (or perhaps they are allergic to it). Lots love the plain milk chocolate ones but some love dark chocolate way more. I could go on and on about the flavors of M and Ms and peoples personal choices. But the point is, how well do you know your colleagues? One of the number one things you can do is to bring your happy into the workplace as well as to build relationships with your colleagues. If you don’t know your colleagues very well, set up a survey to find out their favorite things and then make a google doc so that you have it and can randomly surprise them with their favorite treat. You can even send an email with their favorite sweet, salt, and drink that they are allowed to drink at school. You can even send a list to parents so they have that for their child’s teacher. Get candy and treats in your office for the teachers or kids, because all it takes is 10 seconds to build a relationship. When they are having a bad day, offer them a treat in your office and it gives them 10 seconds of reprieve before digging into the issue. Food always makes things better and can help to emotionally regulate too.
6. Notebooks – This acts as a compliment notebook. It doesn’t always have to all fall on you and these compliment notebooks are a great way to send people messages that you see them and you appreciate them. It is also a way to get teachers building relationships with each other. It starts with writing three teachers in three different notebooks. Give ti to them. They read it and then they write to a different colleague. The cool thing about these notebooks are that the teachers tend to read the previous pages from colleagues to other colleagues so now they are reading nice things and getting to know each other even more. Gerry notes that you can also do this divisionally to other schools by courier as well.
7. ButterFinger Chocolate Bar – Gerry says that you have to have 2 BF systems in your school in order to build a postive climate. The first BF represents Bye Friend. If that person is bringing negativity into your life, you have got to get rid of them. Negativity builds negativity. Sometimes you have to have them in your life so be aware of that and give them as little time as possible to bring negativity. If is parents who are bringing the negativity, respond with a short blurb, “Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’ll get back to you once I get to the bottom of that.” This allows time to cool off and also doesn’t allow them the space to unleash. If it is someone in your building then tell them they have 5 minutes to vent and then you have got to move on to something else or you have to run to another appointment. This gives then a short time and a boundary to vent and gives you the grace of listening but not having to listen for hours or even respond with a solution. If you don’t need to have them in your life then don’t. The second BF stands for Professional BFF. This is someone in your building that allows you to say whatever you need in a safe space. Your professional bestie understand your work space and you do need a safe space (but only one or it spreads like wildfire…) to vent. They are the ones that understand that admin, teachers, parents, students, etc are going to upset you and they are the ones that will give you empathy, sympathy, understanding, advice, and confidentiality.
8. The Magic 8 Ball – You remember those toys from the 90s right? You shake them and they give you an answer to all of your problems right away! The Magic 8 ball serves as a reminder that there is no Magic 8 ball in education. There is no one size fits all or one answer. There is great pedagogy, great strategies, great curriculum, great leaders, great teachers, great ideas but none of them are a one size fits all. That takes away autonomy and that would instantly crush your climate. Don’t push the Magic 8 ball on teachers or students.
9. Plain Coffee Cup – This one represents a blank slate. This cup represents your power to make a mark on each child or teacher depending on how you interact, listen, and mentor them. You have a chance to give someone their dignity every single day. You have a chance to turn a non-descriptive coffee cup into something amazing through your words and actions. Every single day you are working for teachers and students who need you. Gerry told the story of his own teacher (when he was a little boy) who asked his class to bring in a toy as part of a fun gift exchange between kids in the class. Gerry was a young boy at the time and he rode the bus with a girl in his class. She didn’t have a lot of money and brought a used white coffee cup to school as the gift. Gerry chose to stay silent but knew that kids would make fun of her. He watched her bring that cup into class and he continued to stay silent. He watched the teacher take her to another room to help her wrap the coffee cup. They came back with it fully wrapped. Once the students had all exchanged gifts, Gerry watched as the boy who chose her gift unwrapped the cup. To his surprise, the cup was washed and filled with all colors of sharpie markers with a note and a chocolate bar. The note said that the sharpies were for the entire class to autograph the cup so we would always remember each other. It was the coolest present in the class instead of it being the gift that everyone made fun of. It was all because that teacher knew that he had the power to change that little girl’s dignity. That is how powerful teachers and leaders are. The coffee cup is a reminder of that power.
You, leader, are in charge of the climate of your school. You are in charge of your own personal life and climate too. The most powerful thing you can do is build relationships and let people know that you care by listening and remembering their dignity.
Speaking of relationship, I am all about building a community of like-minded leaders. Join our private facebook group called Principals and Leadership.
I have also got a free guide to Reframing How You Show Up that is a great template to go along with this blog post.
Brooks, Gerry. “Creating a Positive Climate and Culture .” Palliser Teacher’s Convention, Feb. 2022, Calgary
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