I am a massive believer in surrounding yourself with like minded people and finding ways to keep up your passion and purpose. Find people who are passionate about your passions, who have paved the way before you, who know when to say the exact right thing at your lowest moment, who build you up and give you strength. Now, more than ever, I need the pep talk from my missionaries. In my world, missionaries are the people who feel ‘sent’ to me to spread growth, faith, and hope. They are the ones I feel connected spiritually to, and so I often tap into their pep talks. I have learned a lot of things from the pep talks that have crowded my soul. I wanted to share some of them with you in hopes that they might spur something that you might need in your heart today too.
I have been reading the book from Jenna Kutcher, called ‘How Are You Really?” First of all, I love the title. It is so fitting because we all know when someone asks you how you are…we often respond with the easiest answer, “I’m fine….or it’s all good.” But really, is it? In this book she gives a really good pep talk and makes some very valid points which really made me re-evaluate a lot of my mindset.
One of the things that Jenna talks about is the importance of finding your missionaries. Like I stated earlier, they are the people who are like-minded and have paved the way before you. They are there to keep you strong and build you up when you need it….because you will need them. They will help you, and it’s ok to ask for help. In fact, I want you to take a real deep look into who your missionaries are. Be sure that you have some and be sure that you are in fact tapping into their super strengths and asking them for help. If you do not have missionaries in your life, strive to find at least one. I have many in my life. Some are my family, some are virtual giants that I don’t have direct access to, and some are colleagues who have paved the path before me. I also have a group of powerful and strong women who are everything to my mindset.
Boundaries are another thing I want you to think about. Do you have boundaries? Do you set them and make them happen or are you saying yes to everything? As Jenna Kutcher states so perfectly, “Boundaries won’t keep things or people or opportunities out of your life; they will keep you in your life.” They will invite happiness and help you to keep out overwhelm because you know exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it. They will help to set up your beliefs and allow you to decide how you spend your time. Boundaries allow you to have your life back. It is not necessary to work 24/7 and, if you are anything like I used to be, I used to think that was the only way I was going to get what I wanted. The thing was, I was working all the time and getting nothing of what I wanted. It wasn’t until I paused and reflected the value of my time and my family that I finally started to realize the power of boundaries. Set them and you will start to get your life back.
Since we are on the topic of setting boundaries, another thing to think about, is down time. You need it and it is necessary to re-energize and rejuvenate. However, here is the tough love part of the pep talk. Your down time should not be filled with more things to do. There needs to be some white space, some time for absolutely nothing. And you need to drop the guilt. Who are you trying to please? You need to take care of you and sometimes your mind and your conscience need to hit the road and take a back seat while down time takes shotgun.
I know that you might be thinking…. that all of this sounds great, but if I don’t work all the time or do all the things then I will never get ahead. If I don’t do this job that I actually don’t like, then I won’t get this benefit or that. Jenna talks about the importance of really taking a deep look at why you do what you do. What is your job giving you? How is it really benefitting you? For example, she talks about how her friend had an executive job that had all the perks and that was why she stayed. It had first class flights and unlimited vacation. The thing was, her friend never flew unless it was for her job and she never took vacation. So all the things she loved about her job, she never used at all. So why was she staying at a job she hated? This was a powerful realization for me too. I love my job, but the benefits of my job actually were not serving me at all because I never used them. I had almost two months of summer off but I worked through most of it. My kids went to my school, but I never really realized the benefit of my impact on their schooling until I tapped into it. I had great benefits for massage and never used it. My point is to weigh the benefits of why you do what you do and be sure that they are actually benefitting you.
This leads me to my next part of the pep talk, the power of reframing your thinking. I am a mama, first and foremost, but I used to hate bedtime with the kids. I know….not a great frame of mind. I was always so tired and I got so frustrated getting them to bed, until I read Jenna’s book on the power of reframing how you are thinking. I started to listen to the stories that my daughters told me right before they fell asleep. They were amazing stories and childlike wonders that I started to record so that I could remember them forever. I was rushing through bedtime and missing out on the most amazing moments. I also had to reframe the frustration I had about having my kids with me at my school. I would get so annoyed by the fact that they were in my office before and after school making a mess of it. However, when I took a step back, I saw that my child developed a love for reading because she had unlimited access to the massive amounts of books on my shelf. My other child wrote about how her favorite part of her mom was that she saw how much she loved teaching kids and she wanted to inspire kids too someday. That was why she was always pretending to type at my computer and writing inspirational quotes on sticky notes and leaving them all over the office. I began to take on an “I get to” attitude rather than an “I have to ” attitude. Know the power of reframing and notice the shift in your mindset. I promise it works! However, this is one part of my pep talk that I still have to work really really hard on.
I know you have heard this before and you probably already know this but food matters and so does moving your body. Food can be the trigger for all bad moods, soreness, fogginess, and all around crappy feelings. If you are feeling off on most days, chances are it stems from your gut health. Everything that goes into your body matters and sometimes it isn’t until you eat from the earth that you really realize how crappy you were feeling. Try, as much as you can, to eat food from the earth and move your body every day. This is the biggest thing that I did for my body and it has changed everything. I still have food I shouldn’t eat (probably way more than I should) but I am a lot better and it has lifted the fog from my brain and gave me energy that I have never had. I am so much happier too.
Ok, we are coming to the end of my pep talk so stick with me for one more piece of advice. Find a hobbie and do it often. Jenna Kutcher spoke about how she met one of her idols and instantly wondered what she does outside of work and motherhood.” She realized as she asked that question that she didn’t know what she, herself, did outside of motherhood and work either. I was exactly the same way. I didn’t have a hobby just for me. That was when I took up weight training and running and I instantly felt better and happier. It was a wake-up call. Jenna reminded me to think of doing things outside of the roles we play, whether it’s career or family or relational. So find a hobby and it will change your joy.
So there you have it! A few things that have been on my mind lately and a lot about what I have learned from some of my own missionaries. It is a beautiful life that we live, if you choose to live it for you.
Download my free guide that gives you some tips on reframing how you show up for your life.
Have you joined our private facebook group called Principals and Leadership yet? You can also follow me on social on facebook at Jacealyn Hempel or on the gram @evenifyoumiss1.
Kutcher, J. (2023). How Are You Really? N.p.: Harper Collins Publishing.
Porterfield, A. (2023, June 23). Let’s Cut the Fluff; How Are You Really?. In Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast.
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