The Nerve To Lead

“It takes more than talent. It takes a kind of nerve . . . a kind of nerve, and a lot of hard, hard work.” —Georgia O’Keeffe

Should I take this leap of faith rather than staying put? What if this opportunity is the one that I should not pass up? It isn’t the right time for this but should I go for it anyway? Should I try this new strategy even if I may risk my own significance in front of my community? These are really hard questions and decisions that have come up a lot for us as leaders. They are complicated questions that require us to look deeply at circumstances, timing, priorities and goals of the individual. Why do we so often doubt their ability, willingness or readiness to lead? 

This was a question swimming around in my mind for almost my entire life. I am always so quick to talk myself out of things and sometimes that is the right decision but other times, I have missed opportunities because of that darn imposter syndrome that tells me I am not smart enough or prepared enough. I started reading the book called Nerve and it is a powerful look into two women who went first in leadership. It takes a deep look into their stories and their circumstances and how they came up with the nerve to lead. They take a dive into the circumstances and the nerve that it takes to lead.

The first thing that they highlight is the feelings women feel compared to men when being nudged or tempted into leadership.They talk of the ambivalence that women feel and the different things they think about compared to men when making the decision to lead. The book is mostly focused on women in leadership, however, there is one recurring theme that struck me, and that was that it takes a whole lot of nerve to lead. And it is extremely scary.

Martha Piper and Indira Samarasekera go on to state that “there is a recurring thread connecting these three phases of leadership: nerve—developing your nerve to lead, drawing upon your nerve when leading and finding the nerve to reinvent yourself when you no longer are leading. Nerve is the personal attribute that we believe is not only required to lead but also is often missing in women, even in those who aspire to leadership roles. Nerve to be true to yourself, nerve to take a path less traveled, nerve to go first, nerve to act decisively, nerve to redefine yourself” (Piper and Samareseker, page 17).

They go on to say that women feel they are good at most things. We know how to work hard and that often we are overprepared for things. We are also excellent collaborators, not afraid to consult when we are looking for solutions, and we are effective at compromising. However, their research shows that we must actively and intentionally build up and draw upon our nerve to lead. Tradition and the past also play a huge part in our confidence and decision to take the helm. People pleasing also plays a part on nerves and we all know that when we lead, we are for some people and not for others. We have to have the nerve to be ok with that.

It takes nerve to stand up for our decisions as leaders and what is deemed appropriate by society. This is tough to do and so often we are nervous that we just simply aren’t equipped to stand by our decisions. Without nerve, this can lead to tough decisions. Without nerve, we may miss out on the opportunity to lead at all.

So how do we muster up the nerve to take risks in our leadership? That is a really big and audacious question that takes a lot of courage to tackle. It is important to recognize the imposter syndrome in our minds and know when it is in fact talking us out of something that is really hard but also a huge opportunity for us. It is important to analyze all of the circumstances when a big opportunity pops up, or perhaps when you are contemplating a risk when leading your community. The thing is everything is a risk, everything is hard, and so it all takes nerve. It also takes nerve to pass it up. Consider all pros and cons and then think about how you feel once you are comfortable in the risk or opportunity you took. Don’t always think of the cons first or how you will feel when you first start a new job or try something new. It always gets easier as you do the work over time, so think of that feeling you will have a few months into the opportunity and recognize and expect the implementation dip.

It takes nerve to lead and often it is a burgeoning call in your gut that you were born to lead. So…tap into that calling, muster up the nerve, and step into that. Oh, and also be sure to encourage the next generation of women or men to find the nerve to step up and lead with confidence, strength and conviction. 

Piper, M., & Samarasekera, I. (2021). Nerve. Toronoto, Canada: ECW Press.

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