Have you ever felt like you are drowning in the work and white knuckling it to hold on to your grip of all of the things that you need to get done in a day, week, or month? You know….that heart pumping, chest heavy, walls closing in feeling that happens when you think of all the things you didn’t do…That’s what I wanted to get rid of. I hated that feeling and I didn’t want each day to keep ending up with that feeling of overwhelm. I needed to do something different. I went to the experts and I tried to figure out a plan to get out of this feeling and making a habit of doing better for myself and for our school. If I did better for myself, then my family, students, colleagues and school would feel better too because I could support them and spend time with them in the best way possible.
It all started with scrolling the internet and a Tick Tock video came up with Mel Robbins. She is one of the mentors that I follow so I instantly clicked on it. In this video, she basically said, “Nobody’s coming to save you.” That hit home immediately. I thought to myself, “She is right…no one is coming to save me….I have to do this for myself.” I mean we definitely want people around us that love us and take care of us. But no one’s coming to save you and solve your problems for you. They have their own problems to solve. When she said that, it hit me right in the heart strings. When you’re a leader, you are going to have to save yourself, my friend. There are definitely people around to help you…you are not alone. But they are there to give you guidance, not do it for you. And this is the rally call for you to do so.
Next, I listened to a podcast episode from Amy Porterfield and Marie Forleo. In this episode, Marie talked to Amy about overwhelm. Marie said that instead of saying, “I am so overwhelmed.” Try saying, “I don’t do overwhelm.” When you say you are overwhelmed, it sounds like something is being done to you. This reminds me of a conference that I went to this past week. The presenter talked about not liking the word, ‘resilient.’ He said that resilient sounds like something is being done to you, it labels you as being ok with obstacles but doesn’t really say that you push through them. Instead, use the words, ‘persistent’ and ‘persevere.’ The presenter said those are verbs that indicate that you are moving through the obstacle no matter what. When you persevere and persist means you have control and a plan. Really, when you take a look at the big picture of feeling overwhelmed, you actually do have control…you just have to organize your tasks so that you realize the big rocks (the important things) and let the other things go for another day. If you don’t ‘do overwhelm’, then you won’t be overwhelmed.
Whenever you feel overwhelm taking over, think what am I going to do about it? Saying you are overwhelmed can start to feel like a crutch or a comfort. Marie says it may even be a self soothing habit. Try switching from saying, “I’m overwhelmed” to “Then what do I need to do?” So for me, whenever I start to feel overwhelmed, I think of what I need to do. Next, I go to my ‘to do list’ and I choose 3 big rocks that need to happen and then I schedule the others for another day. Look at where you can delegate, include your team, and ask for help. Marie and Amy talk about having a conversation with your leadership team about what you need to do and brainstorm how to catch up. You might even have to send a message to someone to be patient with you as you are getting to it but it might take a little bit. I even make some sacrifices so that I can do a great job of what really matters. There are things we can do to keep moving forward and put our head down and take action. As Porterfield states, “action creates clarity, and clarity leads to your results.” So it’s so very important that you get into action so you can have that clarity. So when you’re overwhelmed or confused or stressed, let’s put our head down and think, “What can I do to help me move forward in the direction I want to move, and things start to make more sense.” (Porterfield, 2022) As leaders, we are our own worst enemies.
Managing your time can be one of the most important things you do as a leader so that you can spend time with the people you are leading. Choosing your big rocks can be the key to managing your time. When you know what’s important, you can ignore what’s not. When you think you have to do it all, that is when nothing gets done and the wheels fall off. This idea came from Amy Porterfield and I do this a lot in my leadership. In order to choose your big rocks, make a list. Write at the top “What Do I Want?” Just start writing whatever comes to you. Now, in that same session, or maybe the next day, if you only want to do ten minutes of journaling a day, the next question is, “What Do I Want in the Next 365 Days?” then… journal that. The final prompt is, “What Do I Want in the Next Six Months?” She goes on to nudge you to think about how you want to feel and what do you want your life to be like? (Porterfield, 2022). If we are clear on that, then we can know what our big rocks are to focus on and not “do overwhelm” anymore.
By setting up your big rocks, it allows you to say no to the things that don’t serve you or get you anywhere. Think about the things you need to let go of and stop making them a priority. Instead, those 3-5 big rocks are what you are going to pour your A+ effort into. For me, after going through this process and asking myself what I really want in my leadership, my big rocks became very clear to me. Our three-five big rocks are:
- Revamping our teacher leadership team and the setting up a system that ensures transfer of learning to students. This system provides a roadmap for them to lead their teams and enhance their pedagogy to improve student learning.
- Building and training our admin and learning support team to develop the best programming and plan for our learning support kids
- Learning and co-constructing curriculum support documents with the entire teaching staff in order to support learning and implementing our new provincial curriculum
Once I had my big rocks, that was where I poured my most time and energy into, when planning our day, week, month, year. Our team focused on developing systems and roadmaps to ensure those three things were happening on a consistent basis. We brought our teachers on board with it and began to dig into the work together. These are our projects and they are the ones that will make the biggest impact. We have more clarity on the work that needs to be done and some of the things we can let go of.
I also made a list of 2-3 smaller rocks. These were things that needed to happen this year but weren’t necessarily our primary focus at all times. Our small rock list was:
- Instilling more invitational Faith and culture building experiences into our school improvement plan
- Setting up our staff zen den for wellness
The thing to remember, is that you will have to ask yourself to re-evaluate the big rocks often. We won’t always be in this season where these three things are our big rocks. The big rocks won’t always be so intense. Sometimes it will feel a little lighter but our school team is in a season of heavy big rocks and change. However, we don’t do overwhelm anymore. We figure out our big rocks, set up a plan, and take the next step. We persevere and persist.
This system has really helped me in my leadership and it helps me to feel better overall about the work that needs to be done. It puts me into the mindset that helps comfort me. I know there are a million other things that need to be on our list and I will get to them eventually because we have a plan. It allows me to set boundaries and systems to be more productive, efficient, and effective. I always co-construct these big rocks with a team. That is another thing to remember…you are never alone. There is always a team of colleagues, mentors, or staff members that will be there to help…if you let them in and do it together.
Porterfield states that if you focus on just three to five projects and you go all in or get the support you need to go all in with those—you will see success faster than if you continue to say yes to everything. It is so important to have a hierarchy of what’s important in your school. We need to know what’s important so that we can make an impact and stop running around exhausting ourselves. Even more importantly, stop focusing on the things that are not going to get you where you want to get to. You can’t do it all or be everywhere and put out all the fires. You can’t say yes to everything because that might mean you are saying no to one of your big rocks.
I want to grow a strong leadership team that is visible and models, I want to improve student learning through building teaching actions in all teachers that transfer deep learning, and I want to set up programming and a system to help those students needing learning support. If I want all of that, then I cannot possibly take on as much as I wish I could. We are only one person, my friend. You are only one person. Please give yourself some space to do really great things on the projects that are right in front of you that are your priority and include your team and mentors.
Setting up big rocks so that you don’t ‘do overwhelm’ anymore will spur action which creates clarity. We all know clarity leads to results. This system will give you that. It’s so very important that you get into action so you can have that clarity. When you’re overwhelmed or confused or stressed, let’s put our head down and think, “What can I do to help me move forward in the direction I want to move and things start to make more sense?”
Porterfield, A. (2022, September 27). How to Identify What’s Important and Let Go of What’s Not. In Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast.
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