As a baby Principal, I was so excited to take on this role. I felt ready. I felt confident. I felt honored to be trusted with this position. It was all so exhilarating … until the decisions started to flood my day one after another. I wanted to make the right decision, and so I put it all on myself. The stories that floated around in my mind were relentlessy heavy on my heart. The decisions were what was making me second guess and put stress on my days. I needed to change the narrative and relieve the pressure that I was putting on my own self. You know that Taylor Swift song, “It’s me…I’m the problem, it’s me…” I was the problem. I was the only one putting all of this pressure on myself if I didn’t make the right decision. No one else was. It was once I realized this, that I decided to set some boundaries and touchtrees so that every time I made a decision I had them to fall back on.
Touchtrees are the ideas that you can come back to when you have lost your way. They recalibrate you and give you space for clarity. There are a few things I learned and do to take some of the edge and pressure off of making tough decisions and these ideas became my roots for my touchtrees of decision making. A lot of this criteria came from Amy Porterfield, who is a marketing leader that I follow and respect and others came from my own experience.
Number one – Build Criteria around your decision. Criteria are boundaries and guide lines that you set. It is an ideal principle or standard by which something may be decided. If you don’t have criteria then I highly recommend setting criteria for anything that you do. It gives you a guideline to help you with decision making, hard conversations, setting expectations, or anything that you need. The criteria I developed for decision making is always based on experience, experts, research, and watching mentors.
Number two – You can change your mind!!! This one was a game changer for me. I always put so much pressure on a final decision, not really realizing that I could change directions if it wasn’t going well for me. Now, I remind myself that with every decision I make, I can absolutely change direction if need be. I know that changing directions could create consequences and may not always be easy, but it is possible to change your mind if need be. The key is to look at how your decision is panning out with a clear mind. If you don’t like the direction it is going and all the areas it is impacting, then changing direction is absolutely possible. Porterfield states in her podcast that there is no good or bad decision. There’s just a decision, you make it; you find out if that decision is moving you in the direction you want to go or not; and if it’s not, you make a new decision (Porterfield, 2022).
You can subscribe to believing that any decision you make could screw yourself but we know that does not serve us. It only takes us down. Taking away the bad thoughts from your decision takes away a lot of shame, guilt, and judgment that you do not need. Now, I have learned that I don’t tell myself the decision is good or bad. I just make a decision without labelling it and have the comfort of knowing that if I need to make a new one, I can. It is always important to reevaluate and reassess if needed.
Number three is surrounding yourself with a few people who you trust that can help you make the decision. Realizing you are not alone, is huge!! So this could be people inside your own business. It could be a mentor. It could be a coach. It could be a therapist. It could also be a really good friend. In our division, we have pods of principals and superintendents that meet over Zoom every few weeks or whenever needed and discuss wicked problems. In fact, I have some of my peers and mentors on speed dial. I have put together a mastermind table that I tap into for anything that I do. They help me develop criteria, give me feedback, and share their own experiences. I have a free guide that helps you to set up and engage your mentorship table that you can download here. Porterfield states that your mentors be people that get you and have some kind of understanding of your situation and that you are willing to reach out to them. Another key thing I have learned about tapping into mentors, is that I have to be willing be vulnerable and honest about how things are really going. That is when it works the best. These mentors will give you such great advice so you can make the decisions that are right for you.
Here’s the thing…no one really knows all the answers, so that makes whoever is making the decision the person who will do their best to make the right choice. That makes you the master decision maker and trouble shooter. If you don’t know the answer, you will find out, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself. I have to talk myself into this mindset for every decision I make, but it definitely helps me. In fact, I actually started to believe it the more and more I made decisions and told myself this mantra. Eventually, you will believe in yourself to make well-informed decisions quickly, and will also be willing to change direction if need be when you see the opportunity. And after doing this time and time again, I promise, making decisions will become much, much easier and far more enjoyable. But remember this: usually, the most successful leaders are quick decision makers, who are not afraid to take a little bit of risk. Porterfield states, leaders and entrepreneurs don’t sit on making a decision for too long, because life passes them by, opportunities pass them by, and it keeps them playing small. Become a master at decision making and see how much lighter your heart and mind feel.
Have you joined our private facebook group called Principals and Leadership yet?
For a free guide to engaging mentors, get my How to Set Up and Engage Your Mentorship Table.
Porterfield, Amy. “How to Become a Master Decision Maker.” Online Marketing Made Easy Podcast, 13 Dec. 2022.
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